Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
