how can u be prego again
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
