I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize