I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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