I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
