You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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