Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
