I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
