You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
