these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
