Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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