The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
