My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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