That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
