Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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