I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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