He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize