And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Operation Purity has been aborted
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
