I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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