I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
