Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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