This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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