hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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