I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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