your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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