I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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