Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
where are my eyebrows?
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