ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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