why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize