You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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