I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
