Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just blew my weed a kiss
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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