I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
