Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
