How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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