some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
