If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
