Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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