dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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