I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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