I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
