Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
