Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
