I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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