Yo dont text me then not text me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
