The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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