so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
