One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
