the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
