just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
