drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
