I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
