States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
