did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
