Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
