I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
