Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I need water and some morals
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
