If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
