I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
How external is "for external use only"?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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