I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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