Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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